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Q: What is square and green?
A: A lemon in disguise
Q: How do you make an artichoke?
A: Strangle it
Q: What’s the fastest vegetable?
A: A runner bean
Q: What do you call two rows of vegetables?
A: A dual cabbage way
Q: Why did the banana go to the doctor?
A: Because it wasn’t peeling well
Q: What is small, round and giggles a lot?
A: A tickled onion
Q: What’s the strongest vegetable?
A: A muscle sprout
Q: Why did the tomato blush?
A: Because he saw the salad dressing.
Q: What happens to grapes when you step on
them?
A: They just give a little wine.
Q: What do chickens grow on?
A: Eggplants.
Q: What is red and blushes?
A: An embarrassed tomato!
Q: What do you get when you cross a potato
with an onion?
A: A potato with watery eyes.
Q: Where were potatoes first fried?
A: In Greece
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Q: What did the apple skin say
to the apple?
A: I’ve got you covered
Q: Why aren't bananas ever lonely?
A: Because they come in bunches!
Q: What is a vampire's favourite fruit?
A: A neck-tarine!
Q: Why did the Tomato go out with a prune?
A: Because he couldn't find a date!
Q: How
do you fix a broken tomato?
A: Tomato paste!
Q: What did the lettuce say to the celery?
A: Quit stalking me.
Q: What did the father tomato say to the baby
tomato whilst on a family walk?
A: Ketchup.
Q: What do you call a retired
vegetable?
A: A has-bean.
Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grump-pea.
Q: Why did the lemon cross the road?
A: Because it wanted to be a lemon squash!
Q:
What is small, red and whispers?
A: A hoarse radish.
Q: What do you call two banana peels?
A: A pair of slippers
Q: Why did the man pour vegies all over the
world?
A: He wanted peas on earth.
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